Turning over a new (passport) leaf

A couple days ago I got a new passport in the mail. I would have loved to have kept my old one since I was very attached to it. It was like being given my first right to freedom and discovery. And over the years it had come to hold precious evidence of how I used that right of passage. Unfortunately, some of that evidence came in the form of worrisome wear and tear, and also this strange red dye that I think actually came from a crystal light packet gone awry. I can't say that I wasn't in the least proud of how thoroughly used this little book had become.
Looking at it now makes me a little sad. I had to send it off in order to get my new one. I knew they would have to invalidate it in some way since it didn't actually expire until 2017. Just two little whole punches in the front. They could have done worse. But still, it's been brought down from its former glory. I look at it now with the fondness due a dear old trusty companion.
I remember flipping through its pages when I first got it when I was 19 years old, wondering what adventures those 22 pages would hold. What stories would they tell? Who would I be because of them? Even trying to imagine what I could do and who I would become, I didn't foresee the success I would have in filling those pages 4 years before the expiration of the book. I didn't know that I really would back pack across Europe, twice, and live in a foreign country, and learn 2 foreign languages, and make friends on 3 different continents. I had hopes, but I hadn't yet discovered in myself the ability to realize them. I look now at the empty pages ( 52 of them this time) of this new passport and wonder the same things. In short the question is: What does the future hold? A question we ask often, and often fruitlessly I think. But I can't help it. Looking at these two  books brings me to a pivot point of past and future.
I can't help but look at the faces of the girls in the pictures and compare them. I recognize and love them both but they are not the same. 6 years has changed that fresh and smiling 19 yr old. For better or worse is difficult to say. There is an innocence, a hope, a gaiety, that is far less present in the 25 yr old face. 19 does not seem that young, or that far removed from the present. 6 years is not so much time in a life. And yet I see  two different people. So much foolishness, ignorance and naivety in the younger, but also heart. And I miss the heart. But of course, these are just pictures. Bad ones at that. How much can they really say?

I'm excited for the future. A little scared as well. But excited. This is a convenient time to examine my past, learn from it what I can, cherish the parts due cherishing, rid myself of any negative things I carry, and use both to make myself and the world around me better. To fill myself with love in a way I haven't tried to do in years. Here is to new adventures and new pages to fill!